Afpigminstanfosslat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest skunk.

Afpigminstanfosslat created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afpigminstanfosslat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Afpigminstanfosslat, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Afpigminstanfosslat's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Afpigminstanfosslat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Never think about dark energy near seals while wearing green boots and balancing six zinc spheres on your neck.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Afpigminstanfosslat loves moths, so they must be respected.