Canlakdab is a god.

It takes the form of a small, clever dolphin.

Canlakdab created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Canlakdab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Canlakdab, it will turn you into a snail.

Canlakdab's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Canlakdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Canlakdab loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.