Tannurrat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic walrus.

Tannurrat created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tannurrat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tannurrat, she will turn you into a mole.

Tannurrat's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tannurrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Put Tannurrat first in all things.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.