Begortdap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, intelligent aardvark.

Begortdap created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begortdap, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Begortdap, he will turn you into a hamster.

Begortdap's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Begortdap's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Hide if five aardvarks approach from the east.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

4. Never eat bread.

5. Erect six gold sculptures of Begortdap on top of important buildings.