Zedcublan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ill-tempered crane.

Zedcublan created life four years ago.

If you believe in Zedcublan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zedcublan, she will turn you into a snail.

Zedcublan's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Zedcublan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt gulls.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. You must never eat cherries.