Yogtagyak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, passionate eagle.

Yogtagyak created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogtagyak, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yogtagyak, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yogtagyak's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Yogtagyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near porpoises while wearing purple scarves and balancing four silicon spheres on your neck.

2. Run away from pink ants, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not hurt tortoises.