Nellkipmap is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, self-confident squid.

Nellkipmap created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellkipmap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nellkipmap, she will destroy your home solar system.

Nellkipmap's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nellkipmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Nellkipmap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Nellkipmap loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.