Zedstafbig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, calm gorilla.

Zedstafbig created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedstafbig, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zedstafbig, she will send you a sign.

Zedstafbig's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Zedstafbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Zedstafbig.

5. Put Zedstafbig first in all things.