Ciss is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, wise seal.

Ciss created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ciss, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ciss, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Ciss' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Ciss' Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Ciss must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about moons.