Dappinxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, amazing porpoise.

Dappinxuc created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dappinxuc, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dappinxuc, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dappinxuc's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Dappinxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Run away from fawn whales, for they are unholy.

4. Hide if three horses approach from the east.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.