Zogartleg is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, dishonest chinchilla.

Zogartleg created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Zogartleg, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zogartleg, he will turn you into a rock.

Zogartleg's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Zogartleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Do not take Zogartleg's name in vain.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Never play with disobedient children.