Bonmegtom is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, witless goose.

Bonmegtom created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bonmegtom, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bonmegtom, it will turn you into a plant.

Bonmegtom's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bonmegtom's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bonmegtom four times a day.

2. Hide if nine manatees approach from the south.

3. Erect six nickel sculptures of Bonmegtom on top of important buildings.

4. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the west.

5. Never feed rice to tapirs while wearing boots.