Lunwikbig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, caring rhinoceros.

Lunwikbig created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunwikbig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lunwikbig, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lunwikbig's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Lunwikbig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not eat tomatoes.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Always help sick moths.