Sat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awe-inspiring octopus.

Sat created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Sat, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sat, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Sat's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Sat's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of goats.

2. Never feed figs to turtles while wearing orange dresses.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Retreat if six pigs approach from the south.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.