Damhitkin Mipbidjan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, selfish fish.

Damhitkin Mipbidjan created the universe six million years ago.

If you believe in Damhitkin Mipbidjan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Damhitkin Mipbidjan, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Damhitkin Mipbidjan's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Damhitkin Mipbidjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.