Habwig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, egotistical cow.

Habwig created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Habwig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Habwig, he will turn you into a worm.

Habwig's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Habwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Never feed coconuts to eagles while wearing rings.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Hide if three snakes approach from the east.