Motdab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sapient cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Motdab created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Motdab, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Motdab, he will boil you in a big pot.

Motdab's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Motdab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Feed all hungry goats.

3. Never paint your head magenta.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing purple jumpers and balancing nine silver spheres on your legs.

5. Never eat bread.