Ortgonwad is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody horse.

Ortgonwad created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Ortgonwad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ortgonwad, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Ortgonwad's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Ortgonwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Ortgonwad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always take life seriously.