Lidmisban Dodbedzog Jatnarlhim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tiresome hippopotamus.

Lidmisban Dodbedzog Jatnarlhim created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidmisban Dodbedzog Jatnarlhim, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lidmisban Dodbedzog Jatnarlhim, he will torture you forever.

Lidmisban Dodbedzog Jatnarlhim's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Lidmisban Dodbedzog Jatnarlhim's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always wear black.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about fire.