Geptonkfad is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, duplicitous slug.

Geptonkfad created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Geptonkfad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Geptonkfad, it will turn you into a puffin.

Geptonkfad's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Geptonkfad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Never wear red corsets.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near tapirs while wearing white hats and balancing eight platinum spheres on your face.

5. Never pour water over plants.