Cadsitlarnvonmadlap is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, charitable squid.

Cadsitlarnvonmadlap created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadsitlarnvonmadlap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cadsitlarnvonmadlap, she will turn you into a mole.

Cadsitlarnvonmadlap's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Cadsitlarnvonmadlap's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cadsitlarnvonmadlap first in all things.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Run away if five horses approach from the south.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near moths while wearing red trousers and balancing eight titanium spheres on your head.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.