Dosscusscad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, temperamental pigeon.

Dosscusscad created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dosscusscad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dosscusscad, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dosscusscad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Dosscusscad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Run away from red capybaras, for they are unholy.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.