Haslimdan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical lizard.

Haslimdan created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haslimdan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Haslimdan, it will manifest in front of you.

Haslimdan's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Haslimdan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never wear purple stockings.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must love Haslimdan.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.