Bunkapquart is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, slow ferret.

Bunkapquart created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bunkapquart, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bunkapquart, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bunkapquart's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bunkapquart's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide if six snails approach from the south.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not chop down trees.