Pib is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, deceitful snake.

Pib created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pib, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Pib, she will remove you from existence.

Pib's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Pib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near swans while wearing pink coats and balancing nine gold spheres on your back.

2. Never hurt capybaras.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Run away if three pigs approach from the east.