Gupfligvan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, able donkey.

Gupfligvan created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupfligvan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gupfligvan, he will strike you with lightening.

Gupfligvan's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Gupfligvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Gupfligvan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look after injured doves.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near moths while wearing orange hats and balancing four platinum spheres on your feet.

5. Do not kill ducks.