Poghanhak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, slow dingo.

Poghanhak created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Poghanhak, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Poghanhak, he will turn you into a rat.

Poghanhak's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Poghanhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill mice.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Always pray immersed in water.