Kanmatlit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered beaver.

Kanmatlit created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanmatlit, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kanmatlit, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Kanmatlit's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Kanmatlit's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back brown.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never wear yellow scarves.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.