Kimnurtpad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, contented parrot.

Kimnurtpad created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimnurtpad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kimnurtpad, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Kimnurtpad's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Kimnurtpad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Feed all hungry foxes.

4. Always wear white.

5. Do not cook food in pots.