Xuckjipcisstig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, confident manatee.

Xuckjipcisstig created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckjipcisstig, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuckjipcisstig, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Xuckjipcisstig's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Xuckjipcisstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Xuckjipcisstig's name in vain.

2. Run away if three nematodes approach from the north.

3. Pigs are not to be trusted.

4. Never feed lemons to birds while wearing green scarves.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.