Tuningvol is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, self-assured mongoose.

Tuningvol created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tuningvol, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tuningvol, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tuningvol's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tuningvol's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help great tits in need.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.