Pig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unfair rat.

Pig created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pig, he will turn you into a snail.

Pig's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Pig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

2. Put Pig first in all things.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Pig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Do not covet oxen.