Danflanbon is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, amazing gorilla.

Danflanbon created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Danflanbon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Danflanbon, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Danflanbon's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Danflanbon's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not dye your hair violet.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. You must love Danflanbon.