Tenpomgat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, passionate chicken.

Tenpomgat created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenpomgat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tenpomgat, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Tenpomgat's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tenpomgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing black kilts and balancing eight zinc spheres on your face.

4. Always help ducks.

5. Always treat cats with great respect.