Danortmis Zodpangfun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, stupid jackal.

Danortmis Zodpangfun created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Danortmis Zodpangfun, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Danortmis Zodpangfun, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Danortmis Zodpangfun's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Danortmis Zodpangfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of frogs.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Never talk about turtles.

4. Put Danortmis Zodpangfun first in all things.

5. Do not eat beans.