Row is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered rat.

Row created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Row, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Row, it will manifest in front of you.

Row's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Row's Holy Commandments

1. Row loves snakes, so they must be respected.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not eat coconuts.

5. Row loves turtles, so they must be honoured.