Vonkcaplap is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, happy squirrel.

Vonkcaplap created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcaplap, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vonkcaplap, it will make you grow a tail.

Vonkcaplap's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Vonkcaplap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Vonkcaplap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look after injured mites.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vonkcaplap.

5. Always help sick squirrels.