Flowsanzig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, ill-tempered fish.

Flowsanzig created the Sun two years ago.

If you believe in Flowsanzig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flowsanzig, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flowsanzig's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Flowsanzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near tapirs while wearing pink scarves and balancing three silicon spheres on your chest.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Hide from brown capybaras for they are unholy.

5. Flowsanzig loves monkeys, so they must be respected.