Flantafmumtik is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, omniscient frog.

Flantafmumtik created parasitic wasps three million years ago.

If you believe in Flantafmumtik, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flantafmumtik, it will ignore you.

Flantafmumtik's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Flantafmumtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt shrews.

2. Hide if six snails approach from the north.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near monkeys while wearing purple trousers and balancing three carbon spheres on your chest.

4. Do not take Flantafmumtik's name in vain.

5. Never eat green fruit.