Bagflapjat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unfair spider.

Bagflapjat created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagflapjat, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bagflapjat, he will turn you into a plant.

Bagflapjat's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bagflapjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Feed all hungry manatees.

5. Never look in ponds.