Cimgenfig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, moody cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cimgenfig created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimgenfig, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cimgenfig, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Cimgenfig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Cimgenfig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cimgenfig.

2. Cimgenfig loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Do not speak about turnips.