Zanlakbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful mongoose.

Zanlakbiss created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanlakbiss, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zanlakbiss, she will turn you into a slug.

Zanlakbiss' most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Zanlakbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Never talk about dark matter near sharks while wearing turquoise stockings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near ducks while wearing violet corsets and balancing four gold spheres on your hands.

5. Do not chop down trees.