Vonkzennull is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, happy wolf.

Vonkzennull created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkzennull, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vonkzennull, it will turn you into a plant.

Vonkzennull's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Vonkzennull's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never hurt tortoises.

3. Always help dolphins.

4. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Vonkzennull on top of important buildings.

5. Always obey Vonkzennull's priests.