Quimfenbagcubpid is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, blissful faun.

Quimfenbagcubpid created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimfenbagcubpid, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quimfenbagcubpid, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quimfenbagcubpid's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Quimfenbagcubpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near swans while wearing blue shoes and balancing six platinum spheres on your back.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. You must love Quimfenbagcubpid.

5. Never mention goats.