Dapyatmif is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest snail.

Dapyatmif created the Sunflower Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dapyatmif, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dapyatmif, it will turn you into a mole.

Dapyatmif's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dapyatmif's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dapyatmif.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dapyatmif.