Yarpcubfub is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, temperamental horse.

Yarpcubfub created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcubfub, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpcubfub, he will turn you into a rock.

Yarpcubfub's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Yarpcubfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.