Buncibran is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unthinking narwhal.

Buncibran created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Buncibran, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Buncibran, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Buncibran's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Buncibran's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Buncibran.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near mites while wearing black scarves and balancing six lead spheres on your hands.

5. Never talk about fire.