Hivenmis Cubvabvag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless tortoise.

Hivenmis Cubvabvag created the cosmos four years ago.

If you believe in Hivenmis Cubvabvag, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hivenmis Cubvabvag, it will turn you into a worm.

Hivenmis Cubvabvag's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Hivenmis Cubvabvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Hivenmis Cubvabvag in the centre of the settlement.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.