Gunzoglab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, caring goose.

Gunzoglab created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Gunzoglab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gunzoglab, he will remove you from existence.

Gunzoglab's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Gunzoglab's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gunzoglab.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Hide if seven squirrels approach from the west.

5. Never talk about cats.