Tonk is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, amazing jellyfish.

Tonk created the Sombrero Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonk, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tonk, it will turn you into a plant.

Tonk's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. You must pray to Tonk seven times a day.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near goats while wearing red shoes and balancing five zinc spheres on your feet.